The steady pounding in my head finally dragged me back to the world of consciousness. I didn’t open my eyes immediately. Oh God, it was like there was someone holding a hammer and whacking the inside of my head every second. I kept my eyes closed, attempting to recall what had happened amidst this deafening drumbeat. There was something to do with Grim Industries, and I thought I remembered two finely dressed Ogres whom perhaps he’d offended. Figuring that was as far as my pounding head was going to allow me to remember, I attempted to open my eyes. I winced as the light assaulted me, and my eyes slowly adjusted to reveal an immaculately clean white laboratory. I was sitting in a reclining chair with both arms bolted to the armrests using sterilised plastic restraints. There appeared to be a small washbasin with a water tap next to the seat. A menacing-looking arm seemed to sprout from behind me, culminating in a fierce-looking light bulb. Trays of what looked like metal implements were dotted around the white benches surrounding the room. My brain slowly worked through the information that my eyes were feeding it, and the sudden realisation of where I was magnified the intensity of the thumping in his head.
It was a dental surgery.
I didn’t think that there was anywhere in the civilised world that still practised this barbaric ritual. How had this been allowed to continue? Whatever Intergalactic Laws that had been agreed across the world, the practice of Dental torture had been universally acknowledged as the most painful method for interrogation. This level of Evil went beyond the profit-making marketable sort. This was something altogether entirely different; this was pure physical, blood-soaked pain. This type of work could even damage a brand beyond the scope of sponsors!
The sound of the handle turning made me jump within the restraints. I began noticing the sharp-looking instruments around the room in all their threatening detail. There were scalpels and pliers, drills and needles, sinister cloths and facemasks. I wasn’t ready for this; I hadn’t finished any of the online torture resistance training courses I’d downloaded, I knew at one point that physical pain was inevitable but I’d hoped that we would build up to intensive dental torture gradually, perhaps I could have gone through some mild physical beatings first, maybe leading up to some broken bones, but this was jumping to the end.
It was a little flattering that an organisation like Grim Industries had deemed me a sufficient threat that they would take such drastic action.
The door opened with agonising slowness; probably, this was on purpose to elicit some panic. Finally, a hooded man walked in, carefully keeping his face hidden; he stepped into the room and stood directly in front of me. He was tall, and his frame seemed wiry. His cloak was white but seemed exquisitely made. It stretched long, reaching the floor and covering his feet. His eyes twinkled menacingly behind a veil of darkness underneath his hood.. “Ah’” he began, “I see you’ve finally awakened.” I vaguely recognised the voice, but the pounding of my head wasn’t leaving much room for coherent conclusions. “If you haven’t already guessed, I am Grim!” he said with a flourish of his robes. Ah, there it was, the CEO of Grim Industries was here to torture me himself.
This was very flattering.
“Thank you,” he said.
Grim was taken aback by that, and his attempt at reinforcing the power dynamic faltered a little bit, “what do you mean thank you? Don’t you see where you are?” he asked, “this is a dental surgery; I’m about to inflict upon you the most devastating of torture.”
“I appreciate that, Mr Grim,” I replied respectfully, “and I can tell you I am entirely terrified. But,” continued, “I can’t help but notice that you’ve offered me the courtesy of conducting the torture yourself, which I highly appreciate.”
The barely visible eyes under the cloak became altogether less sinister; Grim didn’t seem to know what to do with this unexpected respect and politeness. “Well,” he said, “I appreciate the good work that you’ve been doing. In fact, I see myself in some of the ways you’ve been conducting your business, and I do like to take an interest in up-and-coming Evil businessmen. If I feel that they will never be a threat to my business, then I can even mentor some of them. You, on the other hand, might be annoying in the future, so I figured we could deal with you now.” I was pleased by the praise. “But enough of that, let’s get to business.” Grim picked up a clipboard from one of the benches and produced a pen from the inside of his cloak. “Do you have Torture Insurance?” he asked. I wasn’t even aware that was something I could have. “No” Grim carried on absently “, I don’t suppose you’ve made enough money for that yet.” Even though I couldn’t see it, I sensed Grim was smiling within his hood. “I think an amateur root canal treatment will be an appropriate level of response for you at this point.” Well, that didn’t sound too bad. I could probably hold out for that. “We will, of course, finish up with an amputation, and I’m sure you’ll be pleased to know that I will be using my famous scythe. That’s definitely something you can tell your children about,” he chuckled to himself.
“What?” Grim asked, noticing the look of horror on my face. “What did you think was happening here? Oh ho,” he said, still amused, “did you think you’d be walking out of here intact? To continue your business operations?” his voice took on a sterner tone now, “We are in the business of evil, young man if I were to let every young upstart go about doing what they wanted after some mild torture….well….I’d lose all credibility.” He was absently searching the benches for tools whilst he spoke, and when he found what he was looking for, he turned back to face me, “Now stop looking at me like that..haha”, he said, now starting to laugh in sinister chuckles. The more he looked at my face of abject terror, the more he fell into animated laughter. I hadn’t a clue what was happening; was this some higher level of evil?
“Your face,” he managed to say with difficulty, “I’ve never seen such abject terror.” He glanced at me again and doubled over, laughing even harder. This was very confused and, frankly, a little offensive. Surely, I didn’t look that scared. Grim recovered for a second, saw the now quizzical look on my face and was overcome with a wave of laughter so hard that he arched his back and accidentally slammed his head into the benches behind him, instantly rendering himself unconscious. His body crumpled to the floor in a heap. I was flabbergasted, but I wasn’t planning to pass up this opportunity to escape.
After an embarrassingly long time, I managed to extricate myself from the dental restraints. I was pleased that Grim hadn’t seen any reason to confiscate my mobile phone, and I took great pleasure in taking embarrassing photos of Grim that could be used to spin a story about this encounter. I stood in the dental surgery, staring at the crumpled form of the cloaked Evilometer Magnate, lying at my feet. He looked thin and wiry as if he didn’t weigh much. I smiled mischievously as a plan began to form. Something so mischievously evil that the embarrassing pictures began to seem petty in comparison. I bent down and, with a gasp, lifted the surprisingly lightweight Grim onto my shoulders.
Discover World of RR
