On reflection, I was a little envious of what Jeremy had done with his room. Maybe I’d command him to furnish mine in the same way once we were settled. Or perhaps—yes—perhaps I wAfter an hour or so of loud digging and shouting, the super-powered labourers had finally reached the point where they were ready to lift my fortress and move it according to Jeremy’s plan. A loud knock on my drawbridge required me to lower it to receive the foreman from among them.

“Hello, sir,” he began with a smile.

He was wearing a uniform of luminous yellow spandex and a safety hat. I assumed the hat was more for show, or simply part of the uniform, than for offering any functional protection. He was, of course, broad-shouldered, heavily muscled, cleft-chinned and annoyingly cheerful. I was immediately put out by both his appearance and his manner. I felt it was a slight against me that people who had access to superpowers didn’t immediately want to vanquish me.

“I have some papers for the boss to sign,” he said. “Could you fetch him?”

Well, if I had only been mildly annoyed before, now I was livid. I drew in my breath and, using my practised baritone, shouted, “I am Rudolph, master of this fortress. Conduit of pain and suffering. Commoners weep before my majesty and empires crumble beneath my feet!”

I paused.

“If there is any paperwork to be signed, it is my authority that allows it!”

The foreman took this in his stride with easy abandon. My shouting didn’t faze him at all.

“Of course, your… um… majesty?” he said. “Do you have a pen?”

I pulled a pen from my pocket and took the clipboard he handed over for signature. I glanced quickly through the document, trying not to show that I cared about any consequences of what I was signing. There was a lot of information about insurance and liability, and I figured that if someone as intelligent as Jeremy was willing to sign this, then I shouldn’t worry.

With a flourish, I put my name to the document and abruptly turned around, allowing my cloak to swish behind me as I stalked back to my room.

Jeremy had also made his way over to the drawbridge entrance and I passed him by.

“Hello, Jeremy,” I overheard the foreman greet my ogre. “Quite a character you’ve picked up,” they chuckled together.

It was beneath my dignity to go back and verbally assault them both. The foreman because he and his team were about to lift my fortress and transport it through the air, and I thought it best not to upset him while he was doing that. And Jeremy because, frankly, he was excellent at his job and I wasn’t scared of him at all.

“Rudolph,” I heard Jeremy call.

Again, I winced at his clanking voice, wondering when I was going to get used to it. I wondered how I was supposed to turn around at his summons with any sort of dignity or authority. I stopped striding away but refused to turn.

“I suggest you find somewhere to sit while we’re transported,” he said. “I don’t want you getting hurt.”

I wasn’t sure what to make of that advice, so I continued to my rooms, which I now realised were much smaller than the one Jeremy had chosen. They were also far less lavishly furnished. In fact, I had barely changed anything since I bought the place. I figured the previous owner had equipped it well, and it was so far above where I’d previously been living that I’d been overwhelmed when I first acquired it.

It was furnished like a royal chamber: a four-poster bed in the middle of the room, two armchairs and a small brown circular table between them. There was no rug or carpet, just hard wooden flooring. I felt that was befitting. I was forgoing comfort to create the illusion of dead-eyed focus.

ould command him to vacate his room for me.

That was the answer. I would assert my dominance and—

My thoughts were cut short as my fortress shook violently and gravity seemed to increase, much like a drunken elevator. I was dashed across the room and crashed into a wall. The gravity returned to normal as we reached whatever height was deemed necessary, and I could now feel a forward momentum.

I realised I had been crouched in a foetal position, whimpering to myself that this would all be over soon. I hoped beyond hope that none of Jeremy’s security cameras were placed in this room. The last thing I needed was for footage of me looking like a terrified clown to surface. It would obliterate any evil overlord image I was trying to cultivate.

Enjoy the twist in: Recruitment Part 1

We travelled for what felt like hours. I made a mental note that I needed a watch. What kind of villain doesn’t have the time to hand?

I must have fallen into a fitful sleep, because when I groggily came back to my senses, we were slowing. I made my way trepidatiously to one of the windows and looked out. We were high, and luckily I wasn’t particularly afraid of heights. I heard the labourers calling to one another to confirm whether we were in the right position.

I couldn’t really make out where we were from this height, but it seemed like a well-populated area. From the rays of sunlight beginning to creep across the horizon, it appeared we had travelled through the night. At a signal from someone, the super-powered labourers began lowering the fortress to the ground.

Looking out of the window while plummeting hundreds of metres towards the earth was bound to make me queasy, regardless of my lack of fear of heights. I decided the best course of action was to get into bed and pretend I had taken the whole thing in my stride and had been sleeping comfortably throughout.

No sooner had I taken my first step away from the window than a juddering halt launched me into the air, and I landed on my bed in a heap of cloak and bedding.

At that moment, the foreman from earlier appeared outside the window. With a casual gesture, he broke the glass and said sarcastically, “Here we are, your majesty. I hope we can work together again in the future.”

He pointedly stared at my embarrassing position, smirked, and flew off.

I began untangling myself and was just starting to stand on shaky legs when a loud clanking voice boomed from an unnoticed tannoy in the corner of my ceiling.

“Rudolph, please report to Jeremy at your earliest convenience.”

When had Jeremy installed a sound system? And where did he get off summoning me? I was in charge! How dare he!

My sudden anger steadied my wobbly legs and I marched out of my room, fully intending to establish the limits of my patience with this transgressing underling. But as I stomped towards his room, my curiosity—not any fear of confronting Jeremy—got the better of me. I decided I would give him a piece of my mind after first seeing where we had landed.

I had foolishly left the drawbridge open, and it seemed transporting the moat had been deemed too much trouble, so it now opened onto a flat plain. I was lucky it had survived the transit intact, and I stepped onto it to get a better look beyond the tall walls of my fortress.

It took a moment for me to realise where we were.

Slowly, a horrible sinking feeling crept down my spine.

There were beige houses everywhere. Conveniently located parks and play areas for children. Well-maintained lawns. Organisation. Clean roads. Reasonably priced cars. Early-morning dog walkers.

This was a place of doom. A place where a master of darkness had surgically removed any soul or character. A place where slaves were brought to live and breathe.

This was the barren wasteland Jeremy had mentioned.

This was suburbia.

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