He watched the human they had captured through the video monitor in the state room. He’d been in their custody for two weeks now and was quite the physical specimen. They had given him a suite of rooms and provided him with suitable human sustenance and had installed cameras in every corner of the room.
There had been someone monitoring his behaviour at all times. Occasionally, he would stare into one of the cameras and say something like, “Is this a reality TV show?” With a wry smile on his face. They had also equipped the rooms with exercise equipment, and he had made consistent use of this.
The intelligence teams had spent a significant amount of time comparing his physical attributes to those of other humans and had found that he was significantly larger and more defined. Certainly, the exercise equipment he’d made use of indicated that he had the attributes of some sort of warrior.
In addition to observing him directly, the intelligence team had also been reviewing hours of footage of the man. They’d seen him accomplish feats that were beyond most other humans. There was footage of the man dispatching his armed enemies with his bare hands. There was footage of him flying and lifting objects that were far heavier than a human should be able to lift.
The humans were so obsessed with this specimen that they had even captured footage of him in his tender moments with female humans, and although the intelligence reports indicated that humans were mostly monogamous, this man seemed to have hundreds of mates. This lent further credence to the idea that he may be one sort of emperor. However, there was no footage at all of him conducting affairs of state.
His most compelling footage, though, and even the captain was impressed by this, was his arena gladiatorial events. He would battle other humans, also large, in front of hordes of crowds. He would never suffer any injury and would usually come out victorious. These events were staged theatrically, with all the contenders arriving shirtless. It was a strange ritual for a leader to engage in.
Having him on board the ship had led to a certain amount of nervousness. The marines were worried that he would choose to free himself at any moment. Certainly, from the footage they’d observed, they knew he’d done such things before, but for some reason, he’d just carried on using the exercise equipment and generally relaxing with the odd exclamation or comment about reality TV.
Well, Captain Fghjkl figured they’d left him long enough. He ordered that he be brought into the interrogation room. He could have delegated the questioning of the captain to his chief of intelligence, but over the course of the last two weeks, he’d got tired of that smug squid. He had a suspicion that the intelligence that had been gathered was actually substandard and was misleading, but unless he saw anything to the contrary, he couldn’t openly question the tentacled fiend without causing some unease amongst the other officers. Perhaps, by carrying out the interrogation himself, the man would pick up on the snub. He took a minute to walk over to his dressing table and eyed himself in the mirror.
He was from a bipedal species that had long been accustomed to space fairing. They were a nation made up of largely blue-skinned males and red females. He had actually been very interested in reading the intelligence information regarding how race was such a touchy subject for humans. He didn’t arrogantly snort like some of the others about how backwards this species was. He recognised that same trait all over the galaxy. His lack of more than two arms was often seen as a problem for a ship’s captain because he was slower in being able to operate the consoles that were designed with squids in mind. It was a moot point considering that captains rarely operated their own consoles, but nevertheless, it was a point of discrimination. He considered the humans no more and no less developed as a species because of it. He finished grooming himself and marched towards the interrogation room. The modern space travel industry had created true marvels of engineered luxury, and Fghjkl had decided that he wanted to conduct this mission in comfort as opposed to the usual utilitarian type military vessels.
Fghjkl was a rich man, and as such, even the interrogation room was still a comfortably furnished office. A luxurious wooden desk sat in front of a well-stacked bookcase. He took his place in his leather chair behind the desk, placed his elbows on the desk and steepled his fingers together, adopting a manner that was expectant but not hopeful. He only had to wait a few moments before there was a knock on the door. “Enter”, he called. The door was opened and two Valuivian marines marched in the human.
The Valuivians were a bipedal species but were significantly larger than most. They usually had six arms, but some were even born with 8. They typically stood at seven feet tall, and their culture heavily encouraged the building of strength and power as a point of achievement. They were largely uneducated, and most of the galaxy agreed that they would prefer not to equip this physically superior species with knowledge lest they dominate everyone else. They made great soldiers, but even better bodyguards. The two employed on this ship were Fghjkl’s direct employees, and he seldom travelled without them.
They sat down the human, who was himself a physical specimen, in the chair opposite Fghjkl and took a step back on either side, ready to pounce if needed. “Thank you, gentlemen”, said Fghjkl. Fghjkl clicked the translator button on his desk. It was an audio system that picked up on any language spoken in the galaxy and would capture and suppress the audible sounds that were in the room and then direct speakers towards the people present in the room with the language that they understood.
The human eyed Fghjkl tiredly. “I don’t suppose you can understand me, can you?” he said, with little hope in his voice. Fghjkl replied, “I can understand you perfectly.” The human started and was a little flustered. “Sir”, Fghjkl began, “do you understand the predicament that you are in?”
“I assume this is some sort of reality TV show?” he asked.
“I’m not familiar with the context”, Fghjkl replied. “You have been apprehended by an armed delegation of the Galactic Alliance. We have been tasked with capturing your planet to exploit its resources. My chief of intelligence has identified that you are one of the major leaders on this planet, and so we would like to ask you a few questions.”
The human couldn’t contain himself and started laughing uproariously. His voice echoed around the small study, and he stood up from the chair.
“Look”, he said, “reality TV has come a long way, but to be honest, this is really pushing the boundaries on believability. I mean, these are six-armed goons for goodness.” he pointed at the Valuivian closest to him. “I mean your props and costumes department has done a fine job, and I can’t really tell which of the arms are real, but this is a stretch for an audience to believe”, he said incredulously.
Fghjkl was keen to get this preamble over with. He’d seen a similar reaction from other species who were confronted with the reality of the universe for the first time, and he wanted to get on to the useful questioning part.
“Mr Human, I can assure you that this is not some sort of entertainment program. Those men you are pointing to are Valuivian enforcers. Allow me to demonstrate the reality of your situation.”
Fghjkl nodded at one of the Valuivians, who, quick as a flash, hit the human with two of his arms in a perfect demonstration of the physical administration of pain. The human staggered to the floor, and Fghjkl made a shooing motion with his hands. The Guerrillians heaved the human onto their shoulders and returned him to his confinement. Fghjkl wasn’t sure what to make of this first encounter; he needed to think about it, but he was starting to feel like this invasion was poisoned.
To be continued ..
